A Night at the Palace or Some Duck Soup for the Soul...Marx Brothers Purim

Written by Rabbi Richard Agler and Cantor Stephanie Shore
Narrator: As "A Night at the Palace" opens, the King, after a six month binge with his buddies returns home to his Queen, who is less than appreciative of his partying spirit. Her frustration is evident. And
all is less than well.
V: That's just it. I'm tired of being cooped up in this palace while you go out drinking with the boys. I want excitement, I want to dance, I want to ha-cha-cha! You don't realize it but from the time you got the marriage license I've led a dog's life. /td>
Vashti: I want a new dress.
K: Why do you need a new dress? I never take you anywhere.
K: Maybe that's 'cause I got a dog license. You know, I have more important things than you to think about. V: Say that again and I'll scratch your eyes out! K: I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself.
K: How much would you want to run into an open manhole? V: Just the cover charge. K: Well, drop in sometime. V: Sewer. K: Well, we cleaned that up.
V: You know I'm fed up with all this.
K: I know, I know. You're a woman who's been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well we can clean and tighten your brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.
Vashti: I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. King (aside to Guard): She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. Vashti: I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Guard to King: I'd like to say goodbye to your wife. King: "Who wouldn't?" Vashti: Harrummphh! (Exits)/td>
King to Guard: Do you know who sneaked into my chambers this morning? Guard: Why no one your Majesty.
King: No one is right. That's the problem. I know a guy who started last year with just a canoe Now he's got more women than you can shake a stick at If that's your idea of a good time.
Guard: Your majesty, we thought this might happen. So we sent out a scouting mission to the ends of the empire looking for a suitable queen for you. K: Really? You have pictures?
G: We took some pictures of the native girls but they weren't
developed. But we're going back again in a couple of weeks.
K: Say, I'm the jokester around here.
G: (aside) He certainly is.
K: I haven't got time to wait for that. I need a new Queen now.
Guard: We knew that too Your Majesty. "Bring in the contestants!"
Guard: How do you feel about women's rights?
King: I like either side of them.